Good Morning.
In a few days I will be celebrating my freedom. Allow me to explain.
19 years ago, on May 6th 1992-I had enough.
I had enough of the ways my family wanted me to be. I don’t mean the same standards as you are used to, I mean the expectations that I be a thief, a liar, and a cheater. I mean the standards of being abused and becoming an abuser, the standards and ideas that education was something “non-gypsies” did and it wasn’t for me. I had enough.
On May 6th 19 years ago I knew if I didnt get out, I would die and so would Kiersten-because I was pregnant with her and if my uncle found that out, he would do worse to me physically than anything I had ever experienced. I knew it was now or never. So, I left. But I didnt just leave my uncles house at 19 years old…..no, I left my whole life and everything and anything I knew about life.
I left every thing. And walked into blind faith that some how I would be ok. I was either an absolute idiot-or God has his arms wrapped around me because honestly, I had no clue what I was going to do after I walked out of that house. I was petrified. Every inch of my body was shaking in fear. If my uncle caught me, I would be beaten-again and Kiersten would have died in my stomach. But I had to take the risk.
Does anyone have a clue why I took such a risk, being a young, uneducated girl that was only taught to steal and lie for a living? Who was beaten and told she would be nothing all her life…..essentially an abused child?
I’ll tell you why. I didnt have a choice. It was take a chance, or die trying.
Because I had the obligation of making sure that the child in my womb was given a better life than I was. I had a baby! I wanted him or her to live, and go to school, and have friends, and learn about God and not be racist and mean and above all else….not be stupid. I just had to take that chance because in my 19 years of being in the “culture” I dreamed about school, college, jobs, friends…..normal life. But that was a secret fantasy for me. Sounds funny doesn’t it? I’m sure my readers are thinking….”but thats just a normal life”. Yes, for you maybe, but at 19 living as a gypsy girl….that was the enemies lifestyle. Although I personally didnt see it that way ( some of the reason I would get beat, because I loved people) my culture was very harsh and racist and very superficial-things I try very hard not to be, or teach my kids to be.
19 years ago I was a different person. I have come along way since then, and to some of you I may seem a little different. I may not seem as traditional with some things-but now that you have had a glimpse of my life, maybe you can understand why.
I have been labeled as someone who puts their children’s education on the back burner, or doesnt take education seriously. And I can say that those allegations were hurtful-But I ask you:
Does someone who risks their life to give their child the freedom of choice seem like someone who puts education on the back burner?
I think not, but thats just my opinion.
I praise GOD for my life-For because of HIM, I am alive.
Me and My children: Kiersten 18, megan 11, Nick 9. I love my babies!
Shay Bari 
Leave a comment